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Speed Tables – Slowing You Down & Ticking Me Off Since ‘06

All around town, Fayetteville residents are celebrating the new speed table installations. Hurray! Hurray! Yes, even though the City of Fayetteville is facing major budgetary issues concerning a lack of sales tax revenue, they’re keeping their collective noses to the grindstone and continuing to put in more and more speed tables. Hell yeah! They’ve cut the budget for Lights of the Ozarks (Christmas lights are way lame), teachers aren’t getting raises (they’re overpaid anyway, right?) and some city employees are in danger of losing their jobs (awesome!), yet they continue to slap down those speed halting mothers. Hats off to all of you decision makers in the street committee for sticking to your guns and continuing to go forward with the Traffic Calming Projects.

Let me be up front with you; I hate speed tables. Hate ‘em. Up until this week they’ve been a minor nuisance for me since I only have to deal with them when going the back way to Dickson through the park or when on Maple. Now, the genius’s downtown decided to put one right smack in the middle of Rolling Hills, a heavily used throughway from Old Missouri Road to College Avenue. I’m fine with putting a speed table or two in residential areas, in fact I support it, but I’ve gotta draw the line on roads that are heavily trafficked, such as Rolling Hills. What’s next? Township? Joyce? College? Highway 71? Seriously, what’s next? Our city seems to have a real problem with getting their priorities straight.

You know, I would be ok with speed tables if they forced you to go the speed limit. However, the latest speed table installation on Rolling Hills forces me to slow down to FIVE MILES PER HOUR to go over without bottoming out. If I drove a Lamborghini or low-riding van a la Cheech and Chong then that would make sense to have to slow down that much. But I don’t, I drive a Dodge. Again, I’m fine with the tables in residential areas and places with heavy foot traffic such as Wilson park, but when you start putting them on roads like Rolling Hills it’s starting to get a little out of hand.

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