“Three Sheets to the wind.” You’ve undoubtedly heard the phrase muttered at some point in your life either when surrounded by a bar full of inebriated, collar-poppin’ frat boys or when playing backgammon with your drunk Uncle Louie at Thanksgiving. On MOJO, a High-Def network dedicated to keeping us modern, beer-loving, young folks entertained, “Three Sheets” is a show all about drinking. To be more specific, it’s a show that’s all about traveling the world, learning local drinking customs, eating traditional pre-drinking meals, testing out their hangover “cures” the following morning and, of course, drinking a whole hell of a lot of booze. Host Zane Lamprey guides us to exotic locales and puts his liver on the line all for the sake of our drinking education and viewing pleasure.

I was first introduced to “Three Sheets” a year and a half ago when I subscribed to Cox’s HD service. I was basking in the glory of High Definition cable programming when I just happened to catch an episode. I was instantly hooked. Not only is the show informative, it’s also really, really funny. I quickly set the DVR to record any and all showings of “Three Sheets” and immersed myself in some quality television. The show has quickly become one of my favorites and I’ll be ordering the first two seasons on DVD soon. If you haven’t had a chance to watch, I highly recommend that you get your ass in gear and check it out.

After watching an episode after work the other day I decided to take a shot in the dark and see if I could get a hold of Zane. I was hoping that he’d be willing to answer a few questions about the show and himself. I put the odds of him responding at around 1:100. Yet, despite what I thought was a longshot, I fired a few questions his way. To my surprise and as a testament to his coolness, Zane Lamprey actually responded.

Awesome.

Anyway, without further ado, here it is: The Fayetteville Flyer’s Quick Q&A with Zane Lamprey.

Fayetteville Flyer - You drink a lot… at least, you drink a lot for you job as host of Three Sheets. What’s the worst drink you’ve ever consumed?

Zane Lamprey - Absinthe in Prague, Viper Rum in Belize or Snake Blood in Taipei. And the winner is “Vipe Rum”. Man that stuff was nasty. It tasted like what a dead snake smells like… Ew.

FF - Just how did you land what many would consider to be the best job ever?

ZL - I’ve been hosting for a while: MTV, VH1, TV Guide. I just stayed with it and was at the right place at the right time. I was hired to host the pilot and MOJO picked it up. The rest is history.

FF - Do you ever wake up after a long night of filming and wish that you had a desk job?

ZL - A desk job, “no”. But I do sometimes wish that I didn’t have to drink so much. I keep telling myself that I’m going to cut back while shooting, but I want to do the best job. Sometimes I’m in a situation that if I stopped drinking, my interviewee would stop giving me good material.

FF - How many times have you sworn that you’d “Never drink again?”

ZL - I’ve done 40 episodes…. So maybe, 20.

FF - Do you enjoy not having to get shit-faced for your new show, Have Fork, Will Travel?

ZL - Yeah, I do. But then I have to eat a lot. Three Sheets made me put on about 10 pounds, and Have Fork was responsible for about 10 more. If I had to choose though, I’d pick Three Sheets. It’s more fun. Way more fun.

FF - Since you travel to exotic locales for both Have Fork, Will Travel and Three Sheets, do you ever film episodes for each show back-to-back?

ZL - We have. We did that in Bangkok and in France (Cognac then Marseilles).

FF - How does your wife feel about you traveling around the world? Does she ever go with you or do you always fly solo?

ZL - My wife and I miss each other. She goes with me when she can (Venice, Belize, France, Rio) but we just had a son, so she had to stop for a while. Now he’s about 5 months old, so they’re going to start traveling with me. I do better when they’re there because then I have everything I love in one place, and I’m happiest. Then I can concentrate on just having fun and being the “crazy” Three Sheets guy.

FF - It must be difficult traveling the world for your job. How often do you feel like an absolute, ignorant, American ass? I feel like that all the time w/o even leaving the country.

ZL - I’m low-key when I’m actually traveling. So I don’t ever feel out-of-place. But if I do hear some loud person at the airport, it’s most often an American. I wish that wasn’t the case… But that’s been my experience.

FF - What advice, if any, do you have for someone who wants to travel and take in local culture? You’re probably an expert by now.

ZL - Blend.

FF - Finally, have you ever been to Arkansas? If so, what did you think of the ‘Natural State’? If not, what do I need to do to convince you to make a pit stop? We’ll buy you a drink…

ZL - I’ve been there. It’s a beautiful state. America is a beautiful country. We have so many different places. Alaska, Florida, Hawaii, Maine, New York, Arkansas– They are all so different an each so beautiful in their own right. As much as I love seeing the world, I love coming home. Some of us don’t know how amazingly wonderful our country is. There’s no place like home.

Hat’s off to you, Mr. Lamprey for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer my questions. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar… and a really funny dude. We here at the Fayetteville Flyer wish you much continued success.

You can catch Zane on “Three Sheets” which airs on MOJO HD. He’s also got a new show “Have Fork, Will Travel” that airs on the Food Network. Check ‘em out. They’re both top notch.