Steve Guttenberg has single handedly vanquished two more foes in his quest to claim his Dancing with the Stars crown. Penn Jillette has been disappeared, in a not-so-magical way, from the show and Tennis star/apparently not-so-good dancer, Monica Seles, has been humiliated by her lack of dance talent in comparison to the great Steve Guttenberg (aka “The Gut” (pronounced “Gewt”))
Guttenberg continues on his path to glory and will undoubtedly annihilate any and all that stand in his way.
Still remaining on The Gut’s dance card of destruction: radio host Adam Carolla, pro football player Jason Taylor, Olympic skater Kristi Yamaguchi, R&B singer Mario, and actors Shannon Elizabeth, Christian de la Fuente, Marlee Matlin, Priscilla Presley and Marissa Jaret Winokur.
Kristi Yamaguchi ain’t crap.
When combined with Russian dance powerhouse, Anna Trebunskaya, the two become unstoppable, both on the dance floor and off.
Together, they fight crime.
They’re like Voltron, only tougher. And less robot like. And they don’t have the ability to attach to each other and become a larger, even more powerful dance robot… yet.
My prediction for this season of Dancing with the Stars: Through a series of mind-boggling and earth-shattering performances, The Gut will secure his championship. It will be an uncontested, landslide victory. Despite a massive, Guttenberg-related, ratings spike, the show will be cancelled after this season because there will never be another champ like Steve “The Gut” Guttenberg…. And America knows it.