The last half dozen times or so that I’ve been to Chick-Fil-A (read: this week), the line has gotten held up by someone who was severely unfamiliar with what I would consider to be one of the most simple sandwiches available in the fast-food scene and in my opinion, this is totally unacceptable.
I remember back to when I was a child and the Northwest Arkansas Mall’s “food court” (if you could even call it that) was just a bunch of tables in the middle of the narrow hallway near where Journey’s is currently located. It was a total mess and getting through there to JCPenney to buy clothes for the new school year was nearly impossible. This was before the expansion that added a legitimate food court and a ton of square footage to that side of the mall. We might not have had the Picnic Food Court back then but by Jesus we did have a Chick-Fil-A
The best thing about Chick-Fil-A (besides the chicken, obviously) is their ability to somehow have your food ready within moments of handing you your receipt, if not before. The mixture of delicious chicken and fast-n-friendly service makes for a totally bitchin’ lunch, especially when you’re in a hurry to get down to Spencer’s to buy that Carmen Electra Professional Stripper Pole Kit for your friend, Gary.
The last thing you need is some goofball holding up the line asking if the cooks could “please leave off the onions this time” or “go easy on the mayo, thank you” or my favorite so far “not butter the chicken for my daughter.” Apparently, Fayetteville, you are in dire need of a lesson on the toppings that are added to a Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich.
Without further ado, here are the Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich toppings which haven’t changed since I was a small child standing in JCPenney wondering if I was gonna catch any crap from the kids at school because my parents couldn’t afford the Nike Airs that had the little window so you could “see” the air inside:
• Pickles
No onions. No mayo. No mustard, ketchup, lettuce and certainly no butter (although it does kinda taste buttery). Now you know. Don’t forget it. Please?
June 4th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Have you ever added provolone to that? It’s pretty tasty.
June 4th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
The butter thing is not as clear as the Mayo and Onion issue. The buns are buttered… or are they. Why am I commenting if I don’t know exactly what I am talking about? Oh yeah… this is the internet.
June 4th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
umm yes, there is definitely butter. the pickle is the key element to establishing the chick-fil-a chicken sandwich. i recall being severely skewed by the addition of the ‘no pickle’ sandwich slot to the UA Union Food Court’s Chick-Fil-A. grow some balls and eat that pickle like a (wo)man.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:25 am
There may be a buttery taste, but they do not add any butter to the buns in the kitchen. For reals. This is not to say that the buns don’t arrive at the restaurant pre-buttered, however. That is something we should look into. Either way, if you ask for a non-buttered chicken sandwich, you will be corrected and you will hold up the line. Don’t do it, ya’ll.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:55 am
I’ve got some breaking news, hot off the press for you guys: Pickles f’ing blow.
Sorry, guys. The news never lies. Pickles suck.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:14 am
I’m with JTrain. You put a pickle on that piece of chicken and I’ll throw that pickle across the room and like…yell something hateful. I will NOT eat your pickled chicken.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I’m with Stroke. Pickles are real.
June 5th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Alright you people who aren’t into the pickles are insane. No really. I know these guys personally and they are actually clinically insane. Pickles are wonderful little crispy disks of green bliss and if you don’t want yours, give them to me….but don’t throw them at me.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Earth to Beebs: Guess what? You, in fact, are the insane one. Deal with THAT!
June 6th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
You guys gotta be jerkin’ my gherkin! Spear me the anti-pickle rhetoric. Any dill weed can tell you the importance of pickles in today’s society. In fact, I believe it is incucumberent on all of us to treat pickles and pickle related items with the respect they deserve, namely in pun form as I have done here. Thank you.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Pickles are evil and ruin everything they touch. Once a pickle has come into contact with a bun, or anything else, it stains the object with its vile, putrid pickle drippings.
Look for me at the No Pickle slot.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Is this post, in fact, discussing the merits of pickles?
Whoa.
And, didn’t this site already determine that Chick-fil-A marinates its chicken in pickle juice?
June 9th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
doubleK - For us, pickles are a serious issue. We previously determined that the McDonald’s new Southern Chicken is marinated in pickle juice… which is just a bad call all around. Now as far as pickles go, in general, I’m going to stick to my guns and say that they’re horrible.
June 9th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Wow! Kornedog, you’re, like, the Ghandi of the pickle world! Love me some pickles: fried, chicken sandwiched, relished, out o’ the jar. Yummy!
June 11th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Chick-fil-A chicken is dipped in pickle juice before battering. That is the distinctive taste. McD’s is copying…
June 11th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Thanks Burger King!
June 18th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I look forward to day when I can get a sandwich at the Chick with a little bit of gay.
June 24th, 2008 at 10:04 am
Wow.
Somebody’s got mommy issues.
Oh wait, I thought the topic was things my last girlfriend said to me at Chik-fil-A.