Babies at the movies

June 16, 2008 8:33 am · By Wiff Rightly · 0 Comments

It’s happened to all of us. A movie you’ve been excited to see finally opens in wide release. You hop in your car, drive across town to the theater, show up early, pay nine bucks for a movie ticket, grab a tub of popcorn and a coke, find a good seat and wait for the show to begin. Then it happens. You’re watching the other movie-goers file into the theater when you spot it.

A baby.

Your excitement quickly fades and is immediately replaced with disappointment and dread because you know that that little “bundle of joy” is going to scream its little face off at least three or four times during the film completely ruining the movie for you and everyone else present. And when that baby cries, will the parent will try to soothe it? Yes. Will their attempts at soothing said baby fail miserably? Of course. And the real kicker is, no matter how loudly that kid screams, they aren’t going to get out of their seat and take the kid outside. No, no, no. They’re going to stay there and bother the entire theater. Why? Because the parent of little Sally screams-a-lot is an inconsiderate jerk. Inevitably, after the first cry or two, you have to be the prick that stands up and yells “take [your] kid outside!!!”

Now, were we at a showing of Shrek 7 or WALL-E, having kids there is totally acceptable. Scream away! You’re at a children’s movie, that’s how it is. But when you’re trying to watch the latest Marvel film, kids under 12 should be left at home.

Here’s what I’m getting at: Don’t bring your little kid to any film not intended for children (PG-13 and up, usually). If you have a baby, don’t bring it at all. Frankly, bringing your baby or toddler to a “grown up” movie is a bad move and is super selfish.

Having a kid is great. But one of the sacrifices you make when you have a kid, is going to the movies. Really want to see one? Hire a sitter and leave little Johnny at home. Don’t ruin my movie-going experience by bringing your kid along.

Some theaters have a “no children” policy. That rules. Some also have kid-friendly showings. That also rules. Maybe our local theaters in Fayetteville will wise-up and apply these types of polices so that I can watch The Incredible Hulk in peace… Like God intended.