Chicks Love Matt Jones’ Mustache
Tim Tebow may have a Heisman trophy. Peyton Manning and his brother Eli now both have Superbowl rings. Tom Brady gets to sleep with the hottest chick in the world.
But Arkansas’ own Matt Jones has something that none of them have. What’s that you might ask?
The most glorious mustache the world has ever known.
After his arrest earlier this year for cocaine possession, Matt Jones got serious about two things:
- Playing football
- Mustaches
Matt Jones is on pace to have his best year as a professional. He is leading his team in receptions and touchdowns by a wide receiver, and he is leading the league in mustache sweetness by almost 1000 points.
“I thought Matt was hot before. Now, I’d have sex with him and his mustache,” said one hot chick we interviewed. “I’d also have sex with his money.”
“I’ve heard of mustache rides before, but I didn’t know they could be this awesome,” Another chick said.
“I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to Matt,” his mustache said. “I think I get more chicks than he does now. I’m also a mustache. That can talk.”
We never thought it would be possible for Matt Jones to get more chicks than he already does, and then he goes and grows this mustache. Just when we thought you had hit rock bottom, you go and do something like this. And totally redeem yourself. Congratulations, Matt.
Comments
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Lankford
October 3, 2008
That there, my friends, is one step away from a full-on Sam Elliot.
jones
October 3, 2008
That mustache is awesome.
chris-os
October 8, 2008
http://www.sportsline.com/nfl/story/11015582 drug court. with the mustache? who knows!!!
Georgesmajesty
November 10, 2009
So, you can get a felony taken off your record by going to drug court? Wow the justice system is a complete failure. I’m sure drug court sure is going to make him quit doing cocaine. Yep, that’s all we need is some drug court.