If you’re a born again Christian and you want to sport a T-shirt telling the world how God saved a sinner like yourself, you might wear a shirt that says something like “Saved” or “Ex-sinner.” Well, one Christian organization, (the Passion for Christ Movement, otherwise known by its hip street name the P4CM) took the “ex-Sinner” concept and decided to get more specific.
How specific? Well they have shirts that read “Ex-hypocrite,” which as we all know is a good example of sin. Another says “Ex-atheist,” I can see the validity of that shirt from their point of view. There’s the “Ex-fornicator”, and you know that will make all you ladies more popular at parties. And, of course, my favorite, “Ex-masturbator.”
Yes this group encourages young Christians to sport shirts that say “Ex-masturbator.” I repeat again, WTF, WTF, WTF? Gosh! Really? Do we really need to see a T-shirt that lets us know you’ve quit spanking it?
At the risk of sounding like an old codger – when I was a teenager, everybody was doing it; we just had the decency to lie about it. I liked it that way. Later on as I got older, I read more. I figured out everyone was doing it too. But you didn’t see me wear a freakin’ shirt about it!
Now, please don’t take this as a send up of any born-again ideology. I don’t want to debate with anybody on whether the things on the T-shirts are sins. That’s not the issue. The issue is whether we need a T-shirt with that much freakin’ information. So please save the comments.
You have every right to practice and preach whatever you want on your T-shirts. I just have the right to make fun of them. And if you admit to me that you’ve stroked it – even if Jesus helped you stop – I’m going to tease you. I can’t help it; it’s the 13-year-old kid in me.
And for the record: if you are a dude between the ages of 13 and 18, and you have a shirt that says “Ex-masturbator” on it, you’re not advertising you’re a reformed sinner you’re just showing everyone you are currently full of crap.
No way. It’s..ah…uh…wha…
Wow.
If they’re going to give that much info, I think they need to clarify the details as well. Maybe on the back of the men’s shirt they can explain to me how their body deals with a constant production of semen, and how they deal with that morning guilt when they wake up in wet sheets from God doing his will via a nasty dream about the babysitter.
I’m a B-A-C, and honestly quite a frank-speaking one at that. But DANG! That’s way more than anyone needs to know/admit-to! They’re obviously going for the shock value, which they’ll get…but the overall response can’t be a good one. Who would want to talk to a guy willing to admit he masturbated? It’s not like I’m going to shake his hand and ask him all about this Jesus guy.
Or for the guys, it could read: “Increasing my Chance of Prostate Cancer one Lonely Night at a Time”.
Why do the look so dang happy?
I mean “they”
I’ve got a feeling this is going to be a must-have tee for many non-Christians.
The wife once saw a shirt that said “Gave my word to stop at third”
Essentially, Jesus gave his stamp of approval to the old adage “eatin’ ain’t cheatin’”
And we both knew a girl in college who first took it up the butt because the Virgin appeared to her in dreams, but warned that she wouldn’t if the girl had sex. Proper sex, I suppose.
Just surprised that a Christian would wear the word “masturbate”, really.
Shoooot. I’m well above the age of 18, but wearing this t-shirt would be a sin in and of itself for me. Can you get one without the “Ex”?
Where do we turn in our suggestions?
Ex-Sodomizer
Ex-Cannibal
Ex-Fecal Freak
Technically, unless you’re actually masturbating while wearing the shirt, everyone’s an ex-masturbator. I would buy one if they were printed with a “splatter” font instead of that decidedly unsexy Arial bold or whatever. Just looks like a rush job as is.
Humorously, they print on American Apparel. While it may seem a more ethical textile choice, Dov Charney is kind of a sleazeball (sexual harrassment allegations, masturbating at a reporter). I sent them an email asking how they felt about AA’s reputation in light of their message, and I got back a caps-heavy rant about my ” narrow legalistic definition of worldliness”. Aso that my “judgement is similar to the Pharisees”. If there’s one way they’ll get their panties in a wad (har har) send them an email: Min. Facey at facey1919@gmail.com. I’ll leave you with this bit of lovely from the end of the email:
“If u masturbate don’t run from the judgement of God, repent and recieve the grace of God and be saved. Ephesians 2:1-10″
Haha, nice work brown. I may pester them later if I have nothing better to do.
EX-Evolver, perhaps?
What’s done is done. I have never masturbated any of my exes.
Wow, that is an awesome shirt. Where can I get one?
You can pick one up at http://www.landoverbaptist.org
Love it.
I’m looking at that picture right now spanking it….thank you christians!
Okay- I am catching up on my flyer reading- so II know I am late on this but THIS IS AWESOME and AWFUL! It’s what dreams are made of!
Ohhhhh, why didn’t you say it’s Landover Baptist? Relgious parody at it’s best! Don’t tell you me you sent a hateful letter to Bonsai Kitten (http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/) too?