A new covered walkway? An arboretum? A ferris wheel?

A whole row of trees was cut down and the sidewalks were all removed. It looks like new sidewalks are going to be added and will probably house a new class of graduate names but this looks like more than just a sidewalk upgrade to me. Of course, I could be wrong.

So, like I said, does anyone know WTF is going on?

I’m glad to report that the dream of pre-cooked bacon in a can has officially become a reality!

Now, when you open up that perfectly preserved canned burg, you can crack open a can of bacon, unfurl the pre-cooked, ready to eat bacon roll, toss on a few pieces and eat your canned food-loving heart out. It’s the next best thing to eating a thick burger from Hardees (aka The Home of Hepatitis A & B)

Bon apetite!

That camo design really helps bring out the sex appeal of this product too, doesn’t it?

How many times have you come home from a long day of work hungry, tired, not in the mood to cook and not wanting to get back in the car to go pick something up? Yeah, it’s lazy, but you work hard, damnit, and you deserve to have food delivered to your doorstep on occasion. You want to have someone deliver some food but you’re just not in the mood for pizza. Chinese sounds good, but none of the Chinese places in town deliver. What about a burger? Nope, can’t think of a place that’ll deliver a delicious burg. Mexican? Nope-a-rino.

From what I can tell, you’re pretty much stuck with Pizza or Loafin’ Joes.

Now, as we reported earlier, Jason’s deli will deliver, but with a minimum of $25 and a delivery fee of $5-$7, it’s not the best option for just one or two people.

Sure, lots of places will cater. But that’s for large groups of people at special events. All I’m looking for is a place that will take my order and bring it to my house.

I’m asking you, my fellow Flyers, who delivers in Fayetteville? Or who will deliver to Fayetteville? Besides Pizza, Loafin’ Joes and Jason’s deli, what options do we have? Help a brother out.

Where? Lambeth Lounge

Who? Ryan

Why? Ryan never forgets a face or a drink. Everytime we are there he walks around the lounge in a laid back manner. Never intrusive on your time, yet he feels like an old friend. He always knows when to “freshen up” your drink, or bring you a new beer. He suggests new menu items and is not afraid to talk you through ordering a new drink — even if you have no idea what you want to drink that night. I know Lambeth Lounge is a popular spot for Razorback home games and wedding receptions, but I would like to add that Ryan is another reason to go.

Treat yourself, your friends or your smoking hot significant other to a fancy drink and cheese board here one night. Make a new friend in the Bitchin’ bartender Ryan.

I was thinking about music and music covers after reading The Squidge’s article. What makes a good cover versus a bad cover? Does the song need to be “good” to start with? Can you really improve upon a classic? What if you love the song but hate the artist? I enjoy a good cover and can go into convulsive fits over bad ones.

In my opinion you need a few things to make a truly great cover.

1) Start with some pretty sweet source material.
2) Make it your own. Truly own your version of the song.
3) Don’t wimp out with a remix and call it a cover.

A list of sweet covers that follows the rules:

Turn the Page - Metallica This is big for me because I don’t like those angry Napster-hating dudes and I love Bob Seger. Metallica took a song that was pretty much woe is me and turned it into an angry anthem about life on the road. And the video was crazy ridiculous.
Goldigger - Kanye West and Jaime Foxx Do you still find this song catchy as hell? Do you love Ray Charles anyway? Yes and yes. Hell,even the edited version is sweet. A rare feat in hip-hop.
All is Full of Love - Death Cab for Cutie Mopey poppy rockers decide to take on ultra weirdo and ultra badass Bjork? Wow. This is so odd it works.
Just Like Heaven - Dinosaur Jr. I love the Cure and hate this song. However when J.Mascis and company cover this song I suddenly think it’s top notch. Maybe it’s his scratchy voice. Maybe it’s the decidely Un-Cureness of Jr’s version. I don’t know but I like it.
Stairway to Heaven - Dolly Parton This is one of the songs that shouldn’t be covered. It’s a joke. It’s too long. We all like it, but god how many times have we heard it? And Dolly Parton? Really? Really. This is the sweeping finale on Parton’s perfect bluegrass album Halos and Horns. She even got Plant and Page approval.

What makes a bad cover?
1) Not following rules 1 - 3.
2) Unnecessary or gratuitous (read you need a hit or are promoting something)

Now for the bad. The truly bad.

It’s My Life - No Doubt Why was this song covered? Was this for a movie for Gwen’s career? The Talk Talk version is really good. This is so far removed from No Doubt and Ms.Stefani that I cannot understand why it was done. Maybe they are big Talk Talk fans.
I love Rock ‘n Roll - Britney Spears Why is this awful? Besides the obvious, there is also this. No further explanantion required.
Take My Breath Away/These Boots Are Made For Walking - Jessica Simpson A double offender. Breath is cheesy at best, the worst hit for a good band. And why the Boots for Dukes of Hazard? I don’t care for your breathy singing anyway.
Imagine - A Perfect Circle - An explicit version of a song about peace, brotherhood and hope. Ummmmmm ok. FAIL.
Burning Down the House - Tom Jones and The Cardigans This pains me in many ways. I am a big fan of The Cardigans and I enjoy some Tom Jones. But this is awful. Unnecessary, silly and just plain bad. What a weird match while we’re at it. How did these two get together?
911 Is a Joke - Duran Duran No comment needed here.

And honorable mention goes to:
ANY SONG DONE IN EUROTRASH STYLE WITH SYNTH BEATS I work at the mall and walk by Abercrombie & Fitch several times a day. Pick a song, any song. It has been covered and synthed up to a pulsing beat and played ad nauseam and so loudly you can hear it at the Cookie Company.

Flyers, care to add to best or worst?

Citing his long-standing appreciation for short queues, zero-emission weight rooms, open floor plans, and green fitness, one local man set up a weight room of his own in the parking lot of the old Malco Theater on College Avenue in Fayetteville this afternoon (temp 86F, “Feels like 90F”).

I would have actually stopped to ask him what the hell he was doing, but I’m not really a reporter.

In our last edition we awarded US Pizza the highly prestigious “Fayetteville’s Bestest” award for bestest deck/patio in town. This time, we’re going to dig deep and fill you in on the best place to get your booze.

We’re drinkers here at the Fayetteville Flyer. Whether it’s beer or wine, hard liquor or wine coolers (Ted Dancin’), we love to sit outside and relive the good times while tossing back a few. You could say that we’re experts on the subject of booze and where to buy it. Since we know so much about the area liquor stores, it’s only natural that we’d eventually clue you in as to be best spot to buy your liquid party sauce. So, here it is: Fayetteville’s Bestest Liquor Store:

#1 – Liquor Mart & Wine Shoppe

Hands down, Liquor Mart is the place to go in Fayetteville for your booze needs. While they may not boast the best selection in town, you can’t scoff at it either. The real reason why Liquor Mart can lay claim to be being Fayetteville’s Bestest Liquor Store: Their staff. Always friendly, always helpful and won’t make you feel like an asshole just because you don’t know the subtle differences between champagne and prosecco. Also, you can load your cooler up with free ice and their selection of 22’s is pretty damned good. This place is the shit.

#2 – Liquor World

According to the Steve, Liquor World’s “got the selection to make your booty go (smack).” And I promise you, that’s no lie. The selection at Liquor World is by far the best in the area. Whether you’re looking for a hard to find bottle of wine, a sixer of your favorite German lager or just a really tasty liqueur to sip on after dinner, Liquor World’s probably got it in stock. If some of the staff were a little friendlier, they would have been a serious contender for the #1 spot. Despite a lack of friendliness, the folks at Liquor World are helpful when you need them and won’t treat you like an idiot when you ask a question. Liquor World is in the upper echelon of liquor stores in Fayetteville for a reason.

#3 – Crossover Liquor

Crossover Liquor, on the corner of 45 and 265, is a little bit out of the way for most, but it’s a great store to hit when you’re in that neck of the woods. The friendly, helpful and Chicago Cubs loving staff treat you well when you’re perusing their excellent beer selection. Thirsty and hungry? No worries, my friend. On the weekends you can stop by and pick up some beer and a delicious hot dog from the vendor outside. Nawt Bawd!

Others: (4) Dickson Street Liquor, (5) Friendly Liquor, (6) Spirit Shoppe, (6) Wedington Liquor, (6) Liquor To Go

Points Breakdown:

18 – Liquor Mart
9 – Liquor World
6 – Crossover Liquor
5 – Dickson Street Liquor
4 – Friendly Liquor
2 – Spirit Shoppe
2 – Wedington Liquor
2 – Liquor To Go

How it’s scored: Each writer gets three votes. First place earns 3 points, second earns 2 and third brings in 1. The totals are calculated and the winner of the most points takes first place. Easy.

If you’re curious on how our writers voted and why, keep on reading.

JTrain:

1. Liquor World –Walking into Liquor World is like walking into heaven. Well, booze heaven. What I mean is that their selection is outstanding and I love being able to try all kinds of new beers and wines. Their beer coolers are clearly marked and their wine varietals are as well making it easy to find what you’re looking for. Some of their staff aren’t openly friendly, but they’re not pricks either. Just give it some time and they’ll warm up to you. I love Liqour World.
2. Liquor Mart – The dudes at Liquor Mart are super friendly. It’s almost a pleasure handing over money to those guys. Need free ice? Just bring your cooler. Need a decorative gift bag complete with a decorative ribbon? They’ll give it do you free and will even curl the ribbon with scissors for you. This place f’ing rules.
3. Crossover Liquor – Years ago, this place was a total dive. A few years ago they tore down the old store and build a very nice new one. With a long row of beer coolers, and a decent selection of wine and liquor, combined with some a pretty friendly staff, this place is very deserving of a top spot in the Fayetteville’s Bestest competition.

Ted Dancin’

For me, a good liquor store is all about how friendly the staff is. I drink Miller Lite and that’s about it. Every once in a while, I’ll get some gin or vodka or cheap champagne but I’m never looking for anything rare so pretty much everyone has everything I’d ever want. Here’s my list.

1. Crossover Liquor - The dudes that work here are always running around trying to make you happy. Lots of “I’ll be with you in a moment” and “You need help carrying this out?” type of comments. This is nearly unheard of in a liquor store.
2. Liquor To Go - These folks are so nice that I sometimes go out of my way to drive down there instead of going to the Spirits Shop which is waaaaay closer to my house. Plus, I kind of feel for them ever since Sam’s moved in next door.
3. Friendly Liquor - I’ve heard that these guys are not so friendly sometimes. However, they are always really friendly to me which makes the name even more badass.

The Steve:

1. Dick Liq - Sure, the selection isn’t that great, and sure the prices are kind of high, but you can’t beat the location. Dickson St. Liquor is the perfect place to buy the booze to fill your flask before the big show. Whether you are going to a wedding that doesn’t serve beer, or you’re an underage coed who wants to get drunk before you go to the bar so that if it takes a while to wash the black x’s off your hand it isn’t quite as big of a deal, Dick Liq has got you covered!
2. Liquor World - These guys got the selection to make your booty go (smack)
3. Liquor Mart - The selection isn’t bad, and these guys rule.

Farrah:

1. Liquor Beer Wine Mart - Love the newly expanded selection. Very nice staff and always gice you a nod if they recognize you but maybe not your name. They have gift wrapped liquor for me for FREE… And were quite nice and charming about it. The dude even knew how to make the ribbon curly for Christ’s sake. Always first choice in my book.
2. Liquor World - Number 2 on the list due only to proximity between my job and my home. They DO have a lot of selection. They do have a lot of “couldn’t care if you shop here or less” attitude.
3. Dickson Street Liquor - the Neighborhood Market of Liquor Stores. Has what you need when you need it, and most importantly where you need it. Nothing over the top in selection, price or value — just convenient. And for such a small place I have NEVAR had an issue with parking.

TomForth:

1. Liquor Mart - While Liquor Mart can’t claim to have the best selection in town, they make up for it in customer service. Whereas other places may be stocked with tons and tons of exotic wines, imported beers, and obscure liquors (most of which sit on the shelves getting dusty from never being purchased) Liquor Mart simply carries what you need–guaranteed. What sets Liquor Mart apart from the rest, however, is the staff. They’re always friendly, and even if they sometimes don’t know what they’re talking about, they’ll go out of their way to help you.
2. Liquor World - Easily the best selection in NWA, but would it hurt to hire a friendly person to work there? Even just one?
3. Dickson Street Liquor - Dick Lick is small, and the people who work there can be a bit on the smug side, but hey, it’s a block from my house.

Squidge:

1. Liquor Mart - I was just telling my mother the other day that the old LM is my favorite liquor store, hands down. All of the people that work there are more than helpful AND they are super nice. Also if you buy some beer there and bring your cooler in you can load it up for free out of their personal ice machine.
2. Friendly Liquor - It may be a bit over-priced and have one of the poorest selections in town, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t super convenient.
3. Spirit Shoppe - If you’re really not wanting to talk to anyone, pick up your 40 oz. and get the hell home this is your type of store. The dudes that work there don’t give a shit, but in that I-like-you-just-fine-I-just-don’t-give-a-shit sort of way.

Strokitecture

1. Liquor Mart - Hands down the easiest, friendliest, and classically simplest place to buy some booze…and the selection is never disappointing. The staff is well rounded in their knowledge of both wine & liquor and never treat you like an asshole for asking.
2. Wedington Liquor (new location): I have my personal bias, considering my close personal relationship with the architects, and have to roll with this store because their new location is super cool. The wine selection is primo because the owner is a connoisseur. I’m down with any owner that is willing to spend the time and effort on good design, to the point that I will sometimes make the effort to roadtrip west to get some booze.
3. Friendly Liquor: I love irony?

Dern Lanningham

1. Liquor Mart - I like the dudes that work there, they almost always have what I want, and it’s close to my house. They also have a good selection of 22s and 24s, which rule when you only want a beer or two.
2. Crossover Liquor - Why not? It’s nice and the dudes that work there are nice, even though that whole store in all about the Cubs. At least someone in Fayetteville is into baseball, even if it is the biggest bandwagon crybaby team ever created.
3. Spirit Shop - Whatever

Reader Nancy Hanna Portz wrote about taking care of her ill father, and before his death he would speak fondly of the great memories that were made at their family home at 244 Robinson Street. After he passed she heard a song on the radio that she hadn’t heard in years.

“‘Moonlight becomes you so,’ Mom and Dad used to sing, waltzing around the kitchen…Something made me glance at the clock, and I gasped: it read 2:44,” Portz explained. She continued saying that the clock stayed that time until the song was over. Portz said that she sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night and the clock will say 2:44.

“I know it’s Dad’s way of reminding me of happier times, and letting me know he’s there,” Portz said.

According to the article, “Do You Keep Seeing the Same Numbers,” Portz isn’t alone. In fact, they even found someone with a Ph.D to comment on this, uh, happening.

“I’ve heard so many reports of recurring numbers that it’s clear: The angels use them as signs,” Doreen Virtue, Ph.D said.

Seriously? Her name is Dr. VIRTUE! So, what else did she have to say on the subject? “The more you ask, the more your angel will respond with coincidences and signs.”

I guess I’ll pay more attention to the clock, and not so much as a way to keep track of time but more as a communication device with my angel.

Anyway, this got me thinking; Does Fayetteville have a “make-out point?” You know, the place where you take your girlfriend to get physical when you’re in High School or if you’re a middle-aged man in the throes of a mid-life crisis trying to regain some essence of your once glorious and now faded youth. A place where young dreams are both made and shattered. A place where, at some point, cops will show up, tap on your fogged-up window with the butt of their maglite and ask what “you kids” are up to.

We’ve got the cross on Mt. Sequoyah, but that really doesn’t seem to work as it’s too bright and there’s a giant-ass cross looking down at you, quietly judging… Not really a place to go when your grubby hands are wanting to get their feel on. Am I right or am I right? Now, I vaguely remember hearing about a “make-out point” on the northeast side of the mountain, but can’t say that I’ve been there as I was, more or less, a total pansy in High School.

With your help, maybe, just maybe, we’ll locate this long lost “make-out point.” If so, I’ll steal a couple of my dads beers, make a mix-tape that will include a variety of guaranteed panty-melting hits such as “Sister Christian,” take my lady for a romantical dinner at Olive Garden, follow it up with a little game of put-put, then drive up to “make-out point,” crack open those MGD’s and, you know, make-out with her in my car. Awesome!

A goddamned baby.

Your excitement quickly fades and is immediately replaced with disappointment and dread because you know that that little “bundle of joy” is going to scream its little f’ing face off at least three or four times during the film completely ruining the movie for you and everyone else present. And when that baby cries, will the parent will try to soothe it? Yes. Will their attempts at soothing said baby fail miserably? Of course. And the real kicker is, no matter how loudly that kid screams, they aren’t going to get out of their seat and take the kid outside. No, no, no. They’re going to stay there and bother the entire theater. Why? Because the parent of little Sally screams-a-lot is an inconsiderate asshole. Inevitably, after the first cry or two, you have to be the prick that stands up and yells “take [your] kid outside!!!”

Now, were we at a showing of Shrek 7 or WALL-E, having kids there is totally acceptable. Scream away! You’re at a children’s movie, that’s how it is. But when you’re trying to watch the latest Marvel film, kids under 12 should be left at home.

Here’s what I’m getting at: Don’t bring your little kid to any film not intended for children (PG-13 and up, usually). If you have a baby, don’t bring it at all. Frankly, bringing your baby or toddler to a “grown up” movie is a dick move and is super selfish.

Having a kid is great. But one of the sacrifices you make when you have a kid, is going to the movies. Really want to see one? Hire a sitter and leave little Johnny at home. Don’t ruin my movie-going experience by bringing your kid along.

Some theaters have a “no children” policy. That rules. Some also have kid-friendly showings. That also rules. Maybe our local theaters in Fayetteville will wise-up and apply these types of polices so that I can watch The Incredible Hulk in peace… Like God intended.

In our last edition we awarded Hugo’s the highly prestigious “Fayetteville’s Bestest” award for bestest burger in town. This go-round, our goal is to identify who has the bestest patio/deck in town.

It’s Springtime and Summer’s just around the bend. With that in mind, we thought it would be pretty timely to fill you in on where to go to take in some fresh air, grab a bite to eat and do a little (or a lot of) drinking. So here it is: Fayetteville’s Bestest Patio/Deck:

#1 - US Pizza

US Pizza has some big ass fans that helps cool you off in the Summer. They also have some big ass fans of another sort: The Fayetteville Flyer writing staff. The deck at US Pizza can lay claim to having the bestest patio/deck in Fayetteville. They may have slow service on occassion, but the cold pitchers of beer, tasty pizza and kick ass deck make it a primo place to relax outdoors. Congrats on a well-deserved victory! We’ll see you there. We’ll be the loud, obnoxious, drunk ones.

#2 - Common Grounds

In an incredibly tight race, Common Grounds needed just one more point to tie US Pizza for bestest patio/deck. The prime location and large menu (food, all kinds of booze, coffee and even cigars) only accentuate the awesomeness that is cold kickin’ it on their patio. Despite slow service and a menu that’s a little on the pricey side, the patio at Common Grounds rules. In comparison, all other Dickson Street patios (US Pizza aside) drool.

#3 - La Huerta on Crossover

If you’re on a budget and looking to get stuffed on Mexican food and drunk on (or not) freaking huge margaritas all while enjoying the great outdoors with your 35-50 closest friends, then the deck at La Huerta on Crossover is the place to be. The food and drinks are cheap, the view from the deck is, uh, ok, and there’s a decent chance your waiter will be wearing a shirt that says, no joke: “Lesbo Island: Every Man’s Dream.” Check it out.

Others: (4) Buster Belly’s, (5) La Hacienda, (6) Thep Thai, (6) ZooLoos’s, (6) Tables & Ale

Points Breakdown:

18 - US Pizza
17 - Common Grounds
7 - La Huerta on Crossover
4 - Buster Belly’s
3 - La Hacienda
1 - Thep Thai
1 - ZooLoo’s
1 - Tables & Ale (aka “Tabe’s”)

How it’s scored: Each writer gets three votes. First place earns 3 points, second earns 2 and third brings in 1. The totals are calculated and the winner of the most points takes first place. Easy.

If you’re curious on how our writers voted and why, keep on reading.

JTrain:

1. US Pizza – I can’t put my finger on exactly what’s so special about the deck at US Pizza, but for some reason the place is conducive to having a really good time. The service can be slow, the frat boy crowd can be a little overwhelming, but as long as you’ve got a couple of pitchers in front of you (and maybe some killer cheese bread), it doesn’t matter. I always have a good time here. Always.
2. Common Grounds – Just a good place to sit and hang out… as long as their isn’t live music.
3. La Huerta on Crossover – An expansive deck and killer margs make the deck a great spot to hang out when it’s hot out. If you get too hot, just order another giant-ass marg, silly.

Dern Lanningham:

1. US Pizza - I’ve spent countless beautiful days sitting on their deck getting trashed as balls as hell. The service is kinda slow, but once you get a couple beers in you, it doesn’t matter.
2. Buster Belly’s - Only on Tuesday night when you can get one of the best beer deals in Fayetteville, mason jars full of beer. Also, I like being down in that area when it’s nice, the city is so ALIVE.
3. La Huerta on Crossover - Only because I don’t really have another place and because it’s a pretty comfortable deck. Also, if you want to do things right, go for the La Huerta Solid Base drink special. One large marg and one large beer. You will spend like 13 bucks, but you’ll be well on your way to puking in your yard.

Jarsh:

1. Common Grounds: This is the coolest patio by far. You can order food or beer (or both) and sit right in the heart of Dickson Street. The second level deck overlooks the rest of the patio and in the Spring, it’s absolutely great.
2. US Pizza: As long as there’s not a band being too loud out there, this is easily the second-best patio in town. It’s relaxing and shaded by trees plus at night, the lights in the branches create a nice atmosphere.
3. La Huerta on Crossover: It’s not Dickson Street but it’s a great place to get a cheap bite to eat and have some drinks.

Strokitecture:

1. Common Grounds - I am going to stray from saying the menu is fantastic, or that the prices are nice. but the deck/patio is the original outdoor spot on Dickson…CG used to be so much better, what happened?
2. US Pizza - always nice and always slow, but super tasty and they can really get that fucken air swirling with that big ass fan…and its sooo nice. speaking of big ass fans…
3. Thep Thai - A) if you haven’t been to Thep Thai for the food, shoot yourself. B) If you haven’t had a chance to sit on the new patio by the rock-lined ponds and enjoyed the vegetation and the fish and the sweet stash of top-notch beers this place keeps cold and ready, then do so now while spring is in swing.

The Steve:

1. La Hacienda - Two words: Margaritas. And Cheese Dip
2. US Pizza - Best location w/ occasional shade. (Bonus) They would be first except their waitstaff is too stoned usually.
3. ZooLoo’s - Cheap drinks. No one is ever there.

Squidge:

1. U.S. Pizza - I don’t really care for the food, but I could sit there and drink off of pitchers all day.
2. Buster Belly’s - Patio + Mason Jar Beer Night = Heaven.
3. Tables & Ale - It’s not my favorite place to hang-out, but there are $1 drafts and sometimes the satellite station isn’t on the jam channel.

SG:

1. Common Grounds
2. US Pizza

Farrah:

1. Common Grounds - I guess. I would feel stronger except they excel at doing everything average. food is ok. service is ok.
2. La Huerta on Crossover

TomForth:

1. Common Grounds - When I want to eat outside, my default pick is always Common Grounds. The food there is okay, if unremarkable, and the drinks are a little on the pricey side, but the atmosphere on the back patio easily compensates for any shortcomings the place has, menu-wise. Nestled right in the middle of Dickson Street, Common Grounds enjoys a vaguely urban atmosphere that complements the outdoor dining experience very well. Flowing naturally from the backside of an old brick building, the bottom-level patio is shaded-in by giant old trees wrapped in strings of white lights, and enclosed by a wooden fence. Within those boundaries, you’re treated to upbeat music (every time I go there, I hear “99 Red Balloons”), and served by some of Fayetteville’s friendliest servers. On the upper-level, there’s a pleasant view that allows you the rare opportunity to people-watch. Fayetteville doesn’t have a lot to offer, when it comes to dining al fresco, and that’s why I’m thankful that Common Grounds continues exist–of all the places in town that offer up an outdoor dining experience, Common Grounds comes closest to getting it right.
2. La Huerta on Crossover - I love The Hurtcha’. Awesome food, awesome drinks, and great prices. The downside? Let’s just say the atmosphere could use some work. The deck has a not-so-scenic view of the intersection of Crossover and 45, and if you try to sit out there when it’s crowded, you’ll likely end up squatting at a picnic table covered in bird shit. And that’s no bueno.
3. US Pizza - As I mentioned in the voting for Fayetteville’s Bestest Pizza, the service at this place sucks, which is why I’ve placed them third. But the patio is super comfy and the pizza is pretty darn tasty as well.

Honorable Mention - Theo’s. Theo’s is one of the town’s best fine-dining establishments, and on top of that, their deck is pretty nice, to boot. But it’s not the kind of place a working guy like me can go to hang out on a regular basis… it’s just simply too expensive.

“I felt that to the best of my ability, I would build something durable, but in faux decay,” he said. “New, but reflecting antiquity, and hopefully it would be miraculously enhanced by wear, tear and vandalism as it reverted to nature.”

A full description of the building of the castle along with some fantastic pictures can be found on William’s website.

We wonder if Williams knew back in 1979 what a Fayetteville landmark he was creating. The castle at Wilson Park, (or Point 7, whatever) for those of us who grew up here was a huge part of our childhood, our adolescence, even our adult lives. It sparked the imagination of countless kids both from Fayetteville and the surrounding areas who’ve climbed into its towers, tightroped its rock walls, thrown pennies and pebbles at the coy in the fountain and carved their initials into its rocks.

It’s been the backdrop for thousands of pictures, senior and otherwise, and it’s one of the most recognizable landmarks in Fayetteville.

It’s also a huge advantage that Fayetteville has over the surrounding cities, and another reason that Fayetteville Rules. Thanks Frank.

-Dern Lanningham

My boyfriend and I just broke up a couple of days ago. Now we are trying to divide our belongings up between the two of us, and he claims that he has the right to keep the couch even though we both paid for it. He says that since he makes less money than I do that he should be able to keep the couch because I will be able to forward one more easily. This doesn’t seem fair considering the fact that I paid more for the couch than he did. What do you think, Dern? -Couchless Carrie, Brunswick, ME-

Blah Blah Blah. If all you have to worry about in your life is a couch then you are a jerk. Some people out there have real problems, like those who have to once again face rejection because some no-talent hack of a newspaper editor can’t recognize true artistic genious. Anyway, back to your PRECIOUS couch, hit your ex-boyfriend with a brick in his face/neck, then move the couch while he bleeds.

Dern, I just got dumped by my fiance who I found out has been cheating on me for the past six months. Since getting dumped, I haven’t been able to concentrate at work and have been asked to take a week off to get my head together. In additon, my ex-fiance and his new lover have become regulars at all of our old hangouts, which makes me very uncomfortable and has kept me from going out. I am just at a loss. I don’t even know where to begin. Help. - Lost Leslie, Chicago IL-

Start drinking, and don’t stop. Works everytime.

Disclaimer: Dern Lanningham is an out of work comic strip drawer. He is in no way an expert on relationships, but does believe that dogs go to heaven, and if they don’t, then they fucking should.