Do you ever read CNN’s headlines and think to yourself “Man, I’d love to have a shirt that says that on it?” Well, fret no longer, my friend. Taking a page directly from The Onion, you can now buy a “CNN Shirt” complete with (not so zany) headlines. It’s just like the shirts you can buy on The Onion Store, only not funny. And boring. And mildly to horribly depressing. Hooray!

I know I’m itching for my “Federal contracting chief quits under fire” shirt to come in! Oh! And my “Incest dad vacationed while kids locked up” shirt! That one’s bound for a few good laughs!

CNN Shirt is still in beta (i.e. we’re not sure this is going to catch on so we’re just going to call it beta so when if flops we don’t look as stupid) so check it out, or not, before the sites’s taken down, beaten, spit on and hidden away in the basement.

So, if you’re looking for a “Crying 4-year-old found along highway” (That one’s SO good!) shirt, you should get ‘em while they’re hot.

The Billy Wolfe story is gaining momentum faster than the Cuban black beans and rice dinner that’s making its way through my insides this evening.

Just do a quick Google blog search for “billy wolfe bully” and you’ll see what I mean.

And if that’s not enough to convince you, according to NWAnews.com, it’s about to get even crazier starting tomorrow morning. “Billy Wolfe; his mother, Penney; and their attorney, Westbrook Doss; are scheduled to fly to New York City today for appearances on NBC’s “Today,” CNN and ABC’s prime-time news show,” 20 / 20,” The story is airing Wednesday morning on “Today” and Wednesday afternoon on CNN. It’s not clear when “20 / 20″ will air its report.

The stories are sure to paint a pretty terrible picture of our town but from what one local student’s mother has to say, Wolfe’s side of the story is far from all there is to know. “I talked to (my son) today and asked him about it all. (My son) has known this kid since Woodland days and even though (my son) is a year older, knows all about him,” said the e-mailer (who will remain anonymous). “Billy kicked a kid’s cat so hard that it died, this caused one of his fights, then another time went up to a boy whose Mother had just died and said HA Ha I have a mom and you don’t,” said the mother.

Of course, rumors can circulate quickly so all of this has to be taken with a grain of salt. However, it’s becoming more apparent that there are most definitely two sides to this story.

Here’s hoping that the national media is interested more in the truth than “good TV.”

Hold on to your panties, ladies. Or at least put your very best pair on because Anderson “Sexy” Cooper is booked to speak at the UA March 7 at Barnhill Arena as a part of the student-funded Distinguished Lecture Series.

Cooper is the host of the CNN television show Anderson Cooper 360. My grandmother is a huge fan of his sexy quads and the intelligent way he presents the issues, which I can only assume is why most females love this dude.

I have no idea what Cooper plans on talking about, but if you’re a student you should probably attend. You did pay a portion of his $75,000 guarantee. Yikes! So, he has to be a little interesting, right?

He’ll start saying whatever he has to say at 8 p.m.