Pick a number from one to seven. OK. Got it? It’s important that you not forget your number because in a sentence or two, I’m going to have you repeat it out loud. OK, as soon as you finish reading this sentence, say your number out loud (don’t worry, I can’t hear you).

Now, with the power of what I like to call “Magic” I am going to guess your number which will, in turn determine what you should do tonight. Ready?

Your number was 1 which means you should head out to the Botanical Garden of the Ozarks for Red, White & Blooms at 6:30pm.

In case I was wrong, though, and your pick was 2, don’t worry about it. What’s more imporant here is that if your number was 2, you’re supposed to be headed out to Club FIX in the basement of Willy D’s so you can dance your face off to DJ Beat Bachs.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Some of you are all like “No, moron. My number was 3.” Fine, then go to Ella’s and listen to the Claudia Burson Trio. Relax, man.

If you’re the one lady who picked 4, you’re in luck. Lots of people are jealous of you. Why? Because you get to see 3 Penny Acre at Greenhouse Grille. At this point, I can actually hear people changing their number.

For anyone who picked 5, stop what you’re doing. Things are looking good and bad for you right now. The good news is, someone, somewhere just said your first and last name and a group of people standing near them perked up their ears. The bad news is that they finished the sentence by saying, “is a jerk.” Bummer. Drink your blues away at Smoke & Barrel tonight with the Matt Smith Trio.

By now you’ve probably figured out that I never had any intentions of actually guessing your number. But if you’re still reading, then you probably picked 6 or 7 so I at least owe it to you to say that if you chose 6, you’re gonna be at Smiling Jack’s listening to East of Zion. But if you chose 7, it’s a pizza party for you at US Pizza with Sarah Hughes.

Recap:

1. Botanical Garden of the Ozarks: Red, White & Blooms – 6:30pm
2. Club FIX: DJ Beat Bachs – no cover
3. Ella’s: Jazz on the Hill w/ Claudia Burson Trio
4. Greenhouse Grille: 3 Penny Acre
5. Smoke & Barrel Tavern: Matt Smith Trio
6. Smiling Jack’s Fresh Foods: East of Zion
7. US Pizza Co: Sarah Hughes