A group of rogue vandals armed with nearly foot-long wooden (knitting) needles are holding the city of Fayetteville for ransom.
The vile individuals, led by a charismatic blonde hairstylist that, for the purposes of this report, we’ll call “Taylor,” have carried out a plan that intelligence suggests was masterminded by notorious Fayetteville crime lord “Dede,” and covered the Fayetteville square with colorful squares of yarn. The group is demanding that the city donate the soft squares to the Fayetteville Animal Shelter for use in the shelter’s animal beds.
Several of the vandals belong to an organization called Stitch & Bitch, and nearly 50 individuals contributed to the heinous display that is now gripping the square, and holding the city hostage.
We captured some of them in the act this morning, and though we may risk personal injury by revealing the identities of these yarn terrorists, we feel it is our duty to expose their maniacal plan to provide soft, woolen surfaces for the comfort of homeless animals.
(Here are some pictures of an art installation by members of Fayetteville’s Stitch & Bitch and others in the Fayetteville knitting community. It’s called “yarn bombing,” and it’s pretty cool. Check it out at First Thursday tonight.)
If the slide show won’t load, check out the individual photos on Flickr.