Hogs Guy Predicts: Arkansas @ South Carolina

[This pickem has ended. Congrats to Joe, who picked 42-23. Nice job!]

To anyone that is a Republican or Democratic, or everyone else, I am Hogs Guy and I am in love with the entire Arkansas Razorbacks. The love is in my heart for all of them and how well they either coach, run, catch, tackle or sit for them on the team. I’m talking about the college football team of Arkansas. And if you didn’t know, I’ll tell you. They’re good. Just how good is a question you might ask me. My answer. Real good and much more than you’d expect or hope for. Unless you are me. Then you know how much good they are and your expectations would be met or equal.

Last weekend the Razorbacks squad played a football game against the Vanderbilt’s Commodores. And to the surprise of no one except the entire Commodore team and nation, the Arkansas side was the winner or winners — whichever you prefer! That’s right, they had a winning score of 49 and the Vanderbilt had a losing score of 14. When there is a difference of more than one point between the two scores, there is a winner and a loser. That’s the easiest rule in collegiate football. Don’t worry about half points, they’re not real.

Hogs Guy with Hogs fans

The game was a stupid one to watch in the first quarter because Vanderbilt’s was doing a great job of playing good football plays and scoring. Meanwhile, the defense team for us was doing a badly job of playing good football plays and opposite of doing scoring. But then after .25 of the game was played, our defense had a sideline huddle and said to themselves, “we are the Arkansas Razorbacks defensive side of the team and NO MORE VANDERBILT players will play this game or else we quit or become killers or we will win!”

And then they won it. Because Ryan Malletts threw record breakers and 3 six-point touchdowns. Because Knife Knile Davis ran it the ball good again and for 2 six-point touchdowns. Because the defenses scored a safe play and an intercept pass play. Because the Vanderbilt only could increase they’re yardage total by 13 yards after the first quarter. What did I say? Yes! I know I did! 13 yards. That’s how you win at football in America. That’s how you are Homecomers and throw parties after you throw footballs and after you throw the opposite team into a trash can full of jokes and bad thoughts for them.

Arkansas was the winner and has now won around 6 of most of their games. Winning is always a good thing unless you are a rabbit that races turtles. This time the winning part was good as usual. But there are also bad spots. The wide receiver player Greg Childs got hurt when someone tried to rip his knee bone off. Lucky for us and him because he didn’t die from it. But now he needs medical surgery from doctors and won’t be a player for us the rest of this year season. Also bad was our penalty plays. We massed up 130 yards in penalty calls. When you do subtraction math, that is only 23 yards less than a Vanderbilt team offense could get against us. Yikes is something I would say if I was a kid. Otherwise, I just get mad as heck about it.

This upcoming weekend the Arkansas Razorbacks will travel to Columbia (in South Carolina) to take on the football team of the South Carolina Gamecock. {Hogs Guy note: Half of the word Gamecock is usually a sex word, except when you put a word like ‘game’ in front of it it becomes not sexually active. A lot of people think it is still funny and make sexy jokes with it. They should grow up and practice math or learn it.} The South Carolinas are almost exactly like us in the winner slash loser column row. We are 6 winners and 2 losers. They are 6 winners and 2 losers. A lot of people will say this is an important game for us to win or for them to win. Basically it’s two important games in one and only one great outcome for one of the two teams playing it.

Hogs Guy with Hogs statue

The match up is like yings and yangs. {Hogs Guy note: ‘Yang’ is usually a sex word, also, too.} The South Carolinas are bad a passing defensive plays and our Ryan Malletts and the all the wide receivers are good at them. The South Carolinas are good at the rushing play defenders and our Knile Davis and others are not the greatest at it yet so far. The South Carolinas ball runner back rookie freshman Marcus Lattimore is a really good guy at ball running plays and our defenses against that kind of stuff isn’t a great time. The South Carolinas have a head coach guy is Steve Spurrier and we have a head coach guy as Bobby Petrino.

As you can see from my view, it’s a 50% call one way and a 50% call the other way. But that is just stats view.

And if you’re wanting to take me on in a bet, you can. I think this is how the game will turn out – Arkansas Razorbacks 38, South Carolina Gamecocks 35. If you think you can beat me, first off, you can’t. Get a life. Second off, tell me YOUR score guess below. I’d say good luck, but you’ve already lost. And don’t even think about guessing AGAINST the Hogs. If you do I wish I could see you in the clouds but then the clouds either go away or disappear and then you would fall far to the ground. To be nice, I’ll put the clouds around 8 foot tall. You will still hurt some. But probably won’t die it.

How to enter

Leave a comment with your game prediction. If you want to add anything else, feel free.

What you’ll win

One t-shirt of your choice (size, color, style) from the Flyer Shop.

The rules

• You only may enter this specific contest once.
• Contests are open to anyone anywhere except staff of Fayetteville Flyer and their immediate family members.
• The winning entry must pick the winning team and have the smallest combined difference from each team’s final score. Example: If the Razorbacks win by a score of 21-7, and your prediction was Razorbacks 20-10, your difference would be 1 + 3 = 4. In the event of a tie, a winner will be selected by a random drawing.
• You must pick the score by 15 minutes before kickoff for each game.

Good luck!