Thursday To-do: Dec. 16

There was a kid at my junior high school who had the same name as me. I’d often receive his report cards by accident. Always D’s and F’s. I’d walk to the school office, explain what had happened and eventually, they’d get my report card back from the other guy and all was good.

Ten years later, I was pulled over on Dickson Street and spent a half hour trying to convince the officer that I wasn’t part of a recent string of bicycle thefts. He was positive it was me and kept repeating my name over and over trying to get me to confess. After he called for help, a new officer took one look at me and said, “Oh sorry, wrong Mr. Gill.” I was pretty sure it was the same kid from junior high.

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Yesterday, I received a letter from the State of Arkansas Child Support Enforcement demanding that I pay $1080 for past-due child support. Listed below the case number were 12 bullet points explaining what would happen to me if I didn’t pay within 30 days. I don’t have any children and I’ve never heard of the woman whose name is listed as the mother. After a brief phone conversation with the child support office, they determined that they’d made the same mistake as my junior high principal, and the police officer on Dickson Street. Wrong Mr. Gill.

The way I see it, there are only two ways to end this: Move out of Fayetteville or change my name to William Clinton.

Tonight

There’s a giant list of choices for tonight. A few notes:

Songs in the ‘Ville is not at its usual location (it’s at Mt. Sequoyah).
Her Jester’s Majesty (formerly Celestial Discharge) has been added to the Bright Shade show at George’s.
Just added: A wine tasting at Matt Miller Studio on the square.
If you can’t make it to the new TheatreSquared holiday show this week, they’ve added more performances for next week.

Enjoy the evening.